TV Hotspot Feature-I Must Gush! Black Sails Season Two Premiere

(courtesy of deadline.com)

(courtesy of deadline.com)

Hey TV addicts.

Or should I say pirate lovers? I know only Black Sails fans will be reading this. But if you are a pirate lover who hasn’t watched Black Sails as yet, why are you even reading this? Go watch season one and come back! Don’t worry about the slow start, it gets better. And the season two premiere? So much fun. Hence, a little warning to the critics: I must gush.

SPOILERS AHOY!

So, I almost gave up on Black Sails. Like DaVinci’s Demons, there was one point where I asked myself why I was still watching this show. The theme song helped a lot. I’m always humming it and then once it was done, I just thought it was best I watched the episode. So whoever is doing the musical score, good job. Anyway, after watching the season two premiere, I realize the writers have finally found their footing. Like season one was a trial run–a baby trying to learn how to walk. Some days, he’s waddling just fine; other days, he’s mostly on his rump.

I couldn't resist showing the analogy through a gif. So cute!

I couldn’t resist showing the analogy through a gif. So cute!

I have a feeling that season two will be a toddler who has mastered walking. He knows how to tread the ground now. No one needs to help him. He has discovered his strengths and has taken advantage of them. There were many strengths with season one but they weren’t being used as much. Season two premiere capitalized on them, stole my devotion and reminded me of why I love the romanticism of pirates.

So what made this premiere so great?

1. Pirate Captain 3 Gives No Shits: The conversation between Ned Lowe and Eleanor showed us how demented Ned Lowe can be. The camera angle showing his freaky eye combination didn’t help. When a man pierces you with a calm stare and tells you that he has no remorse for anything that breathes, you better a find a way to end him-fast. Eleanor, it looks like you’ll need Vane to help you with that. I believe, only Vane, can give the man a decent bitch slap to put him in his place.

I'm gonna Game of Thrones it and just call him psycho pirate.

I’m gonna Game of Thrones it and just call him psycho pirate.

Speaking of the gorgeously vicious Vane…

2. More Scenes with Shirtless Vane: As a warm-blooded female, Vane could be mute for all I care. The man is fine. Zach McGowan, stop it. Your stomach is like a canvas for an abs masterpiece. How was I supposed to even understand what Eleanor was telling you when you walk out of the bed looking like that?

Pretty sure, this is where my brain short-circuited.

Pretty sure, this is where my brain short-circuited.

But apart his muscular work of art, Vane is an extremely calm asshole/badass. He can be selfish but he doesn’t make it harmful to others. He’s a quiet survivor who doesn’t need pomp to prove how fearless he is. Does anyone know what happened on that slave island? Only the slaves. In essence, he doesn’t need anyone. He never did. He just wanted a crew so that he could get to the gold quicker. And I also like how attached he is to Eleanor. No matter what happens between them, he gives her a quick grin, a naughty remark and struts out in his tight leather pants…oh my, this is getting lengthy.I guess you’ve figured out my favourite character.

3. More Past, More Depth: I have always liked flashbacks in shows. They give me more to a character. Since Captain James Flint is supposedly the main protagonist, I think it was smart move from the writers to show his past and how it connects with the present. He was a left-tenant? Wow. How the mighty have fallen. Now he’s battling for his life among his ex-crew members with a multitude of gold under his feet. Oh, the plot line is juicy!

And less beard, more of an untold youth...I'm killing it with these phrases ^_^

And less beard, more of an untold youth…I’m killing it with these phrases ^_^

4. Team Silver/Flint! Even if Silver annoys you, you can’t deny that when those two work together, insanely great things happen. Those two are the very definition of a ‘narrow escape’. You have to admit that their wits are equally advantageous against the usually ignorant pirates. Only the quartermaster has a lick of sense, let’s be real. Besides all that, Flint’s annoyance towards Silver makes for some great laughs. I should start a betting pool for how many times Flint will tell Silver how much of a little shit he is.

We didn't know how they were going to come out of this, but we just knew they would.

We didn’t know how they were going to come out of this, but we just knew they would.

5. Anne Bonny discovered lesbianism and now we can move on: We all saw this happening. From the time she helped Max escaped by killing her crew members. It could have been mistaken for only a woman looking out for another. But there were those stares and her blatant hostility toward Max. I think at that point, with my millions of eye rolls, I just wanted the sex scene to finally happen. Which it did. Let’s hope Jack is into threesomes.

Maxjust oozes sexuality, doesn't she? Yep. The girl didn't stand a chance.

Max just oozes sexuality, doesn’t she? Yep. The girl didn’t stand a chance.

Black Sails came back with a bang, people! How does it feel, witnessing awesomeness? I know I feel great. Can’t wait for what the season has in store for us.

P.S. I won’t be adding Black Sails to my Characters of the Week commentaries. Their characters would steal all the spots. It would be an unfair advantage.

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